Beta Breakers

Today is a national holiday for some people. Some people like me...and most of San Francisco. It's the day of Bay to Breakers, one of the most festive and silly, stupid days the Bay Area has to offer. Way back when we were just young kids just bein’ alright, Danny Krueger moved to Yay Area and would tell me tales of this deliriously fun and drunken day where people would put on their Sunday best-themed team costumes and come on out to celebrate and support those undertaking the footrace from one side of the city to the other. The first picture evidence I was presented with was in 2006, where key members of the DFT donned impressively skimpy outfits for the grand event:

And here are some other pictures of B2B past. It’s the kind of day where you could lose a toenail and have no idea how, where you could wake up after your midday nap with an excruciating headache and not remember it came from going on a makeshift see-saw and slamming your ass into the ground on a piece of plywood. Where the aftermath rears its ugly head in a jumble of scuba gear, pimp train costumes, wigs and mardi gras beads. Where an impromptu rave happens in Golden Gate Park because someone has built a DJ float. It’s one of those days where anything is possible…

Now, me being of sound biology studies background and not so sound geography knowledge of San Francisco back then, I didn’t realize that this event was named due to the map of the race—from the Embarcadero, the BAY, to the Great Highway at Ocean Beach, where waves crash into BREAKERS. Instead, I assumed it was called Beta Breakers. I couldn’t think of a reason why Beta would factor into the name, I just accepted that San Francisco is weird so of course they’d have some weird, nerdy science-related race parade that just gives people an excuse to dress and act like idiots while being drunk from dawn till dusk.

Thus, for the longest time, I went around calling it Beta Breakers until finally I asked Danny one day what it meant, why was it called Beta Breakers? And the truth came out. But of course, the phrase remains. This is the second year in a row I’m missing B2B due to working out of town and let’s hope it’s the LAST TIME!!! 

Susan Cho to me

show details 10/2/09

4:41 PM

Susan: Did you know, I can't stop laughing at leotardo da vinci? did you?

me: haha! we saw it last night, at the end of the jane fonda complete workout, their wardrobe was provided by leotardo da vinci

Susan: oh my god. retardo da vinci! i logged onto gmail ths morning and laughed out loud, so loud.

me: um...is there someone named daniel gonzales? that you know?

Susan: Yeah. You know Dan.

me: he put me on some weird email chain about composting, it's like me and some girl named alice and some girl named egan

 

me: megan

Susan: Alice is his roommate. She's french. Do't know megan. Maybe he meant to email another erin, but you know how on gmail, it saves people you've been on an email chain with, and he just wasn't paying attention to which erin he was emailing.

me: hmm

Susan: hmmm. thats funny and strange. maybe he wants you to move in..they hva really cute place in teh mission.

me: damn. that would be really fun. can they have cats?

Susan: Probably. I feel like evrywhere can I have cats.

me: wait is that where we met for beta breakers?

Susan: No. Thats Emily's place. Dan's place is on like 15th and Capp.

me: I feel like everywhere can I have cats.

Susan Cho to me

show details 10/5/09

Susan: is it cold there? or cooler? everyone i know in la is commenting on the weather.

me: really? i mean, it's not excruciatingly hot like it was a couple weeks ago but it's like mid-70's-80's

Susan: dang. thats still pretty damn warm. oh man. i can't wait to get a little la getaway made.

me: it's too bad you're not coming the weekend before though. There's a DANCE LIKE MICHAEL class happening that krista and are getting made

Susan: ooh. dang. that sounds hella fun.

me: i know, but maybe we'll pick up enough things that we can teach you guys. danny sent me a very promising text this morning

Susan: oh yeah. learn some moves, adn then we can do them.

? promising text about what? coming to la with us?

me: yep. he asked if we could do my staple drunk dance move if he comes. which, of course, is a no-brainer

Susan: yes. he was showing me your dance, but i feel like i need to see you do it to get the full effect.

me: it's the dance from beta breakers with the firecrotch, apparently

Susan: oh my god. but i missed the firecrotch dance!!!!!!!

me: i know. but that is the birth of that dance.

Susan Cho to me

show details 10/26/09

Susan: last night, i bought myself a 12 pack of pbr, had like 4, and then slept at like 1130.

me: nice. we had red stripe and i went to bed around midnight. i kept watching it's always sunny and then i randomly watched a nip/tuck on demand. that show has gotten ridiculous.

Susan: has it? i've never gotten into it..

me: i used to watch it. i stopped around the time jennifer was on it. i mean, it was weird then, but like, now one of the sons is all into mime. and he robbed a grocery store dressed in his mime costume.

Susan: uhhhhhhhhhh. thats weird.

me: and he's like kind of girly looking so he made for a real creepy mime

Susan: ugh. why do people go into the mime arts. oh wait. i knew a girl, tracy, who was in my bookclub, and she had friends who were mime's. like real ones.

me: that's gross. if i can't find a dress, i'm being a mime for halloween. ew or we should be team mime for beta breakers. that would be so creepy!!!!

Susan: ahhh!!! actually, mercedes and amanda said we should be team: men on film (from in living color).

me: ooo that'd be fun

Susan: which would be so funny. we could wear those little hats and give eveyrthing 2 snaps up.

me: even just team in living color. i want to be wanda. or no, who is jim carrey's musclewoman character?

Susan: vera de milo

me: vera yeah. i LIKE team in living color. because then different people could be everybody like fire marshall bill

Susan: yeah totally.

me: and the fly girls for people who just want to dress slutty, but not be a real part of the show

Susan: i wanna be that one woman whos' like, "but i'm not one to gossip, so you didn't hear that from me."

 

Or, i'd TOTALLY be a fly girl..

 

heh. 

erin shea to Danny, David, Russ, Debra, Mercedes, Susan, Amanda

show details 8/10/10

Ooo danny did you like that? Can we all be team kims for beta breakers next year? Also, I just walked deep into a tree just now. Some people need to put their BBM's away when they're trying to walk to lunch.

Susan Cho to David, Mercedes, Liz, Amanda, me, Danny, Russ, Debra

show details May 12 (2 days ago)

Plllleeeeeeease...Reeleease me?

Debra, is it going to be ZPH's first beta breakers?

You guys, I ate too much pizza and now I have a stomach ache.

- Show quoted text -


Beta Breakers: The scientific name for Bay To Breakers, the annual footrace that takes place on the 3rd Sunday in May in the lovely land of San Francisco. Beta Break Yo'self, fools!