Well this one goes way, wayyyyyy back. Back to the days of summer. The days of Cal Poly. The days of that magical little college town of San Luis Obispo. It was started by a group of enlightening San Franciscans who would show up for weekends on occasion to bring the party and I don't really know why it all started, I just know it was easy to pick up and pretty soon, it was all the rage.
This is one of those things that started out as a prefix to a phrase and quickly just became two words that have the power to infer the tone of a whole sentence. A whole paragraph even! You’ve just gotta get the inflection right, and it can mean anything. I mean…anything. There are so many ways to say it. The most common form is doing it with the audible version of that dot dot dot effect. "I mean…" If you really perfect it, you won’t even have to finish your sentence. You hear a joke in a movie that’s clearly been stolen from the writer overhearing your DFT conversations, but it still makes you laugh. So you look at your friend and say with a smile, ‘I mean…’ And your friend will know you’re really saying, ‘that joke is clearly in here for our benefit. Who is following us around stealing our inside jokes and thinking we’re fucking hilarious?’ If you’re mad, you can do it like, ‘I. MEAN.’ Just say it real loud and aggressive-like and don’t smile. You can roll your eyes and say ‘I mean….’ if you’re trying to say ‘I don’t really care, but it would be nice if you would follow through once in awhile.’ You can scrunch your face up in disgust and say ‘I mean,’ to hint to that lady across from you that maybe changing her baby’s diaper on the subway isn’t the most sanitary of things. There are just so many ways. So obviously it’s better to just go ahead and get on into the examples.
Honorable mention to Josh B for seeing an IMEAN license plate and making me realize that this is the perfect October entry. I mean, it rhymes with Halloween. COME on! Honorable mention #2 to Jack Y for embracing the phrase more than any of us could ever hope for from a DFT satellite sister. I mean…thanks, Jack.
And we’re just gonna start off with a classy bang from DK and lean on into the rest:
DK to me, SC, MT, AH, LP, DH, DT
show details 9/16/09
Okay, I'm gonna level with you. The white stuff is probably jizz, and the oily stuff is probably lube. So he was either masturbating or having gay sex, but I mean, when you see that kind of stuff in a bed, it's like, what else would it be? Sorry. It's totally gross.
There's no easy way to say it, but I think you have every right to ask him about it. Just be like, look, I'm really sorry to ask this, but there's some stuff on my comforter, and do you think you could clean it? It's gonna be awkward, but I mean, if he's capable of being a grownup, he'll take care of it.
YUCK. Yuck. He was probably banging that Ford model photographer in your bed. You remember? The one that took pictures of us at your party when we won the raffle? Man that still cracks me up.
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SC to DK, AH, MT, me
show details 1/11/10
Oh my god. Thats fucking awesome man...
You guys. I started my diet today, so naturally, I bought a Carls Jr. breakfast sandwich meal. I'na care though. It’s reallll good
Blurgh and a half...I am so bloody tired…I mean, real tired.
So, weekend recaps:
Friday night I should not have taken that sleeping pill Amanda. I love that I was already exhausted, and didn't even need it, but still took it, which lead to me sleeping in till noon on Saturday. Then had to pull it together and get some housework done before I went to go meet Mercedes and Liz for Leslie's screening of the Room. Which was just as bad as I remembered it being. Illl SYACK. Tommy Wiseau's barrel of snakes back grosses me the eff out. That and his Frankenstein face.
Then we went to that jr. hipster party down on 24th and Alabama, where that stupid Ed Helms looking motherfucker changed the music, and started grinding on some other hipster jr chick.
Topped off the night with some food at Taqueria Vallarta, and then I didn't get back home until fucking 430 in the damn morning.
Needless to say, I woek up again at 1230 Sunday, and could only get it together to go eat, walk Karen and go to the Uptown for Brooks' birthday drink thing, which was fun and nice, cause I like him.
URgh. Now I have to take a Carl's Jr. dump, and am going to have to yell at one of Mr. Medina's tenants.
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SC to AH, DK, MT, me
show details 2/11/10
Ugh. You guys. I'm a little hungover right now. I mean, I definitely feel a lot better then I did an hour ago, but now I just want to crawl into bed and take a nap. My body is aching.
OK, so I need you guys to tell me I'm being stupid, or that maybe its just the self pity from the hangover talking here. This girl I know posted a pregnancy picture on fb last night and it kind of made me jealous. Which is stupid because we all know I'd rather die a thousand deaths then have a fucking human meatloaf come shooting out of me, and its not even like her husband is rape worthy fine, he's short and kinda chubby and thinks he's funny and has "dick in a box" facial hair. But, the thing of it is, she looks really good, I mean, way better then when she was prego with her first kid, and I don't know. I guess I got jealous of the fact that she looks so good, and has a husband and a kid, and a career. I mean, she basically has everything she wants. Even if she has to have that hair.
OK, I'm done feeling sorry for myself.
URGH, so anywhoots. You guys. I LOVE my fizzy water maker. I feel so stupid for not buying one sooner. I drink like 4 bottles a day. For real.
And if I could bring it to work, probably more.
OK, so am I the last living person to not see Avatar(d)? Should I just bite the bullet and see that shit this weekend? I'd still rather see Legion first. Or even, Percy Jackson and the Titans: The Lightening Thief. Heh. And the good news is, I don't even really have to admit to anyone other then you guys that I want to see that, because my brother wants to see it so bad, I can use him as an excuse.
Oh boy you guys. Mama's tired.
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me to SC, DK, AH, MT
show details 2/11/10
oh also Susan, I'm so glad you like your fizzy water maker. And I SERIOUSLY want to bring mine into work. but once I get more comfortable here, I'm going to find the person in charge of hooking up the syrups to the soda fountain, and see if they can't leave one empty so mama can have bottomless fountain fizzy water. I mean, who drinks root beer anyway?
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SC to me, DK, AH, MT
Yeah. Avatar(d) was good, but still..I mean..real bad. I mean, I get that its this really great looking movie, but I can't for the life of me figure out why it keeps winning awards over the Hurt Locker.
The Sigorney Weaver avatar looked just like her but jaundiced.
It was also really funny. LIke that part when the army guy says that Venezuela was some nasty bush, or ...what was it? Disgusting bush? I know I'm adult and shouldn't laugh at shit like that, but that was just funny.
OH dang, but I went home and looked up all these Sam Worthington vidjas. DANG. He's kinda cute you guys. And rull Australian. I mean, he sounds like...fucking crocodile hunter.
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me to SC, DK, MT, AH
show details 2/24/10
omega you guys. Last night's tv show screenings were so FUN though! I watched Nell Carter try to convince Carl to stop pouring HUGE glasses of Old Crow because he was feeling guilty about shooting someone for the first time ever, then Tom Hanks was the alcoholic uncle Ned to the Keaton family and Alex got backhanded in a drunken rage, and after that, Will took a bullet for Carlton and Carlton got rulll mimotional about that. Then at halftime, there was free beer on this cute patio in the back and everyone was smoking pot and getting wasted and we wished we would've thought to bring our skateboards there. In the second half, Tootie narrowly escaped from succumbing to a life of prostitution, which was awesome. Then they showed M*A*S*H, which was kind of dumb, because, I mean, what's serious about that show? It was a real weird episode though where everyone had their own dream sequence and it was kinda disturbing. But the highlight of the night was the 2-parter of Diff'rent Strokes, where Arnold wants this bike from Horton's Bike Shop and then Mr. Horton starts giving him ice cream, showing him nudie magazines and naked pictures and telling him and his friend how fun it is to be naked. The sexual innuendos at the beginning of the show were RIDICULOUS. I couldn't even hear half the dialogue because everyone was just like 'ohhhhh. OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!' after everything he said. Oh and the best part is that at the end, when there's this really weird dialogue where everyone goes around listing off inappropriate behaviors between adult and child, Willis marvels over Mr. Horton being gay. And everyone was like yeah...no....that's not the same thing. DUMB!
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me to SC, AH, DK, MT
show details 3/2/10
OMEGAOMEGAOMEGAOMEGAOMEGA.
ooops. I mean.
OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD.
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SC to AH, DK, MT me
show details 3/8/10
You guys. Its fucking ridiculous that we're at work today. Especially considering all the brain/liver damage that was done this weekend. Well, for me it was mainly brain damage. I mean, I seriously couldn't find directions out of a paper box all weekend.
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me to RS, LP, AH, SC, DK, MT, VS
show details 3/22/10
Susan those pictures are CUTE though! But in my peripheral vision, the black eye/missing teeth one totes looks like da Vinci's Last Supper. I mean, wait. The painting, not the last meal da Vinci ate. Dang you guys. I hope people used the "da" in "da Vinci" like slang for "the" back in the day. "Yo look it's da Vinci!"
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me to MT, DK, AH, SC
show details 3/22/10
Groupon: 60% Off at Fresh Cutt Carving Grill
gha you guys. i'm so dumb. i totally read this and thought it said 60% Off at Fresh Butt Carving Grill.
But I mean, come on. Why is cut spelled with two t's?
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me to DK, SC, MT, AH
show details 3/23/10
you guys it's national topless day!
just kidding. but here's another for your 'me at work' album, susan. I mean, we need to get our disney bottoms to disneyland again and ride some topless roller coasters!
DK to me, SC, AH, MT
show details 3/23/10
I mean. You look totally topless. Are you totally topless? This is cracking me up.
I'm working from home in the morning, so I might go topless, too! Maybe even bottomless!
Then this afternoon it's my big George Lucas movie debut! Look out silver screen, here I come!
Yes Disneyland YES! I was at Safeway last night and they have three-day tickets for super cheap. Can you IMAGINE?
DK to SC, me, MT, AH
show details 3/31/10
I mean, Polesoft is pretty funny too.
Pole hard?
No, pole soft.
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me to MT, AH, SC, DK
show details 4/1/10
Um, so last night Krista and I went out to dinner with my brother at the same Irish place we went to on the first night here and there was something called Walrus Burger on the menu, so my brother was obsessed with it and asked the waitress about it. He goes, 'I'll have the walrus burger, no whiskers, no tusks...' and the waitress laughed and he asked her if it was really walrus and she goes, 'it's baby seal, actually,' SO seriously that Krista and I were like, 'uh, you can't order that.' Of course it was a joke, but I mean, this is the type of place that has heads of every animal hanging above the bar and seabirds flying above your table, so it could've been true. Then we came home and like I said, fucking The Room was on! On regular tv! You guys, we're making it even more of a HIT!
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DK to SC, me, MT, AH
show details 4/12/10
Yeah, man, yesterday was gross. I didn't know it was gonna rain that hard! We didn't do very much at all. But we did watch some Twilight: New Moon. Oh my gosh. That Taylor Lautner. I mean, come on, I don't care if it makes me creepy, he really snaps my bean! I want him to ring my liberty bell.
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me to SC, DK, AH, MT
show details 4/20/10
Dammit you guys, I wish I was quicker with the camera for subway graffiti-viewing. I just passed a tag that said: 24-hour hotline: 202.333.RAPE. I mean, seriously?
SC to me, DK, MT, AH
show details 5/10/10
Wait. So I watched Jennifers Body last night. IT was ok (Juno is better)..But I will say this. Megan Fox is HOTT. I mean, I'd fuck her. No questions asked. She's obnoxious as hell, but man..does she have a great face and a grreat body.
me to MT, AH, DK, SC
show details 5/20/10
you guys, I just got into a deep ass conversation with the barista at the Whole Foods cafe and some housewife-type lady about how much I look like that country singer LeAnn Rimes. You guys, who the fuck pulls THAT reference out? I mean...really? Really.
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SC to DH, me, LP, RS, DK, AH, MT
show details 5/20/10
Welp, my brother adopted a dog, and he's really cute. BUT..
LIkes to eat cotton.
I really like the 10 ft tall tranny Danny showed me last night.
I mean, shim's like leaning against the TransAmerica building, Shims tall..Ridiculously tall.
me to SC, DH
show details 6/16/10
but like, seriously...how wide DOES that shit get before that bowling ball comes tearing through it? Because, I mean, that's just not right. Not cool. Illegal.
me to DH, DK, MT, AH
show details 7/8/10
i mean, really. you should just get a sheet cake and decorate it like a PBR can.
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DH to AH, DT, SC, DK, MT, RS, me
show details 7/23/10
Ok, yeah, that cake IS awesome...but also gross. I mean, who wants to eat a vaj?
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RS to DH, AH, DT, SC, DK, MT, me
show details 7/23/10
Here you go, DH. This is what it looks like. This is my Jesus loving cousin who didn't wipe the placenta-jizz off of her inner thigh before this snapshot was taken. I mean, there's still a hand down there doing something. This picture shouldn't be on Facebook.
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SC to me, RS, DT, LP, DK, MT, AH, DH
show details 11/12/10
Oh. Another thing that I didn't like about this guy last night was that he said he didn't like grilled cheese sandwiches. I mean. What the hull does that mean? Who doesnt' like grilled cheese sandwiches?
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me to DH, DK, MT, LP, DT, AH, RS
show details 12/9/10
why? you should get to slap them! you're giving the parents the gift of lessening their responsibility day in and day OUT. that's hella stressful.
OR you should get a real doll and use it as an example for the kids. I mean, for slapping.
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SC to LP, AH, me, MT, DK, RS, DH
show details 12/20/10
Ahhhhhh!!! That's what we're gonna do with Bella when she gets too old. That or one of those baby bjorn's.
Danny. Your email is cracking my shit up right now. It looks like she's part of a diverse friendship tribe as well, and they probably have their own extended family dictionary.
You guys, last night erin and I saw 127 Hours.
That shit is intense yo. I highly suggest you see it on the big screen for the cinematography and also sound.
Also, my favorite line of the night was after when we were talking about the trailers, and Erin was commenting on the new liam neeson movie and she says, "I mean, how many more movies is liam neeson gonna do where he totally gets screwed over until he realizes he's good at martial arts?"
Its the ultimate question.
AH to me, DK, MT, DH, RS, LP, SC, DT
show details Feb 28
I watched a portion of the Oscars last night. I mean, I guess I better go see King's Speech but then I also want to dig in my heels. We had a fun Mexican themed roommate dinner with all kinds of spread. I needed it after the ridiculousness (fun) of Saturday night.
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LP to me, MT, RS, AH, SC, DK, DT, DH
show details Mar 1
Did I tell you guys that I might have a side Jbo on the horizon? It just means I have to cram more stories into less time and work more nights and weekend but I don't really care, I mean, it's WEIRD to imagine a world I'm not broke in. And I've been thinking about getting a hostessing job or something. This is so much better. Sit in a nice ass office in Palo Alto where they buy lunch ever day and have a kegerator or pass out menus and McDonalds.
DT to AH, LP, me, MT, RS, SC, DK, DH
show details Mar 1
You guys, yesterday was for the dogs. My boss' studio is in the
mission and this jag had to move all the way out in the sunset.
WHYYYY??? So everytime I forgot something at his studio, I had to turn
around and drive back. What a waste of a tank of gas. I'm seriously
retarded sometimes. OH and as I got to my front step, some woman was
walking her dog and let it stop and piss directly on my front step. I
said, "Oh, great" and she looked at me with the dumbest look on her
dumb face and said, "what?" We had a brief stare down and then I said,
"Your dog just pissed all over my front step." And then she was like,
C'mon Murphy or whatever her dogs dumb name was. I don't hate dogs but
I'm just OVER all these dog owners who have no idea what us non-dog
owners have to deal with. When I first moved in, my next door neighbor
said, "Oh hi, yeah, my dogs bark. Hee Hee. So if they ever bother you,
you can just spray them with a hose. Hee Hee." Guess who was out there
last night making it rain. Seriously, those dogs start barking for NO
reason and it starts a domino effect with the other dogs. And it's
like a murderous howl that is NAHHHHT fucking cool. It's rude and it's
wrong. I mean.. these gears are ground.
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MT to me, SC, LP, DK, RS, DT, AH, DH
show details Mar 1
Dddddddeeeeezzzzzz nuttts are in California! Liz, get them greenBACKS. Happy 30th Carlitos!
DT, that day is sucks; sorry buddy. I mean, Toyota of Daly City tried to make my day is sucks, but I defeated them. I had to take the Prius of crap in for scheduled maintenance AND yet another recall and the shuttle took 30 minutes to come pick us up, which is naahhhht ok, because I work like, 5 minutes away and I was almost late to work (again, because I was fucking late yesterday too) on the day that we have fucking state testing. But the shuttle driver was rull nice and talking about his middle school years and punched the gas pedal to get me there JUST on time.
So, ah, I have an appointment at a dealership on Thursday to trade in my hunk of junk for a neeeeeeewwwww (used) car. We'll see how that goes. Maybe I'll just kidnap my mom on a LA trip to break it in...
I want some Cobras and Matadors in my damn MOUTH. Get those mussels! And... Party Down is HILARIOUS. Jennifer Coolidge makes a couple of episodes cameo and made me lose my damn shit.
This email is all over the place.
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MT to RS, DK, SC, LP, me, DT, AH, DH
show details Mar 10
I mean, Danny. I'm not even lying. One day I saw 10 trannies. TEN! 6 walking to my car 5 blocks away at 8am and 4 walking back home at 4pm. Post Street is too damn soon sometimes.
RS to SC, me, AH, LP, MT, DH, DK, DT
show details Mar 29
I mean, ONG.
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me to SC, LP, MT, DK, AH, DT, RS, DH
show details Apr 28
i mean, we should've at LEAST contracted hepatitis, fucking laying on the streets of Santa Monica Blvd.
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DT to SC, MT, me, DK, DH, LP, AH
show details Jul 21
I'm gonna do a juice fast. Because, I mean... Weow!
AH to DK, MT, SC, DT, me, DH, LP
show details Jul 21
Cute dresses Deb, I vote for the orange--will match the wedding colors. I also vote for ya'll to get gussied up. I mean my dad who never wears pants, much like no pants gramps, is wearing a suit.
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me to MT, DT, LP, AD, SC, DK
show details Sep 13
i mean...everyone needs to get their asses to new york city so we can go to arlene's grocery and sing karaoke with a rock band, get home at 4, not turn on your alarm, wake up at 10:30 and have no one notice when you stroll into work at 11:30, still drunk, with a pbr tallboy in your purse. also...why were my shoes in the bathtub this morning?
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LP to me, MT, SC, AD, DK, DT
show details Oct 1
I mean, I had two legit sexual propositions tonight from total disgustos. And then my cabbie wanted an hj. Somebody please eff a dude who doesn't make them want to puke. Bone that broletariat, Susan. Do it for the dft. Do it for you. Do it for America.
I mean…that’s all there is to say.
I mean:
A way to say it all without saying it at all.
